Let there arise out of you a band of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong. They are the ones that achieve felicity. (Quran 3:103-104)   
 

The issue of ‘respect’ has become very important in contemporary British society. My own personal view is that today’s rules of social behaviour and etiquette leave a lot to be desired. When I watch the television, read the newspapers and generally out and about, I am sometimes bewildered at societal behaviour and norms. Sometimes it feels as a Muslim I am at variance to what is now commonly accepted in society: the sheer one-upmanship, the backbiting and slandering, the gossip mongering, the vulgar immoral behaviour, swearing and rudeness, violence and the general lack of respect. This kind of social behaviour is prevalent in many walks of life.  
 

Society’s view of appropriate behaviour and morality rapidly fluctuates and changes, and not always for the better. There are people within communities today, who like to hark back to the past, to the golden age of respect and traditions, the ‘good old days’ when respect was common for example in respecting the rights of your parents, neighbours, the elderly and so on. In many spheres of life whether public or private the concept of what is right and wrong has become blurred and distorted or at least there are differing points of views. The boundaries for appropriate social behaviour are constantly challenged and shifting all the time. 
 

In Britain today respect within communities has dwindled to an all time low, ‘yobbish’, anti-social behaviour, crime, violence, intolerance has become the norm. Such is the great feeling about this issue that the Labour Government on re-election in 2006 launched their ‘Get Respect - Give Respect’ campaign, to restore respect back into local communities through parenting and family programmes, encouraging youth projects and so on. 
 

Clearly the modern society or lifestyle combined with the ever-changing technological advances pose many social and moral challenges to the Muslim community in Britain. In essence this social order for society which has departed from traditional social and moral values is in many ways opposed to the Islamic way of life. Many Muslims in Britain and the West are continually faced with this dilemma in their every day life.  The tragedy of course is that important rules for appropriate social behaviour can be derived from the Holy Quran. The Quran provides a clear guideline on treating each other with respect, dignity and understanding. It’s a criterion that enables love to foster between each other and the wider community through all ages. This essay will present the Islamic view on how to treat each other with respect against the backdrop of contemporary society and culture. 

What is the ‘modern lifestyle’ in Britain?  
 

The modern lifestyle is constantly bombarded upon the young by television, radio and mass media presenting a ‘cool’ and glamorous way of life. From the type of music you listen to whether that be rock, pop, heavy metal to the clothes that you wear for example the rebellious ‘blue jeans’. The lure of fast cars, fast women, nightclubs, casinos, etc., can seem mesmerising and very attractive. Rapid technological advances such as the Internet, mobile phones, I-Pod are all ‘must haves’ today and further facilitate and augment this modern lifestyle. Instant stardom and fame is an attraction in this age too with the rise of reality TV such as ‘Big Brother’ and the more controversial one is, the higher the possibility of enduring fame and riches. Moreover to emulate the cultural and sporting heroes of the time ‘celebrities’ has also become the norm. Celebrities and icons of the age are hero-worshipped and further encourage excess by leading lifestyles of ‘sex, drugs and rock and roll’. 
 

Generally the modern lifestyle attracts the young in a way to rebel against traditional behaviour. Nasr (1993) states, ‘it is a worldwide phenomenon and reflects the attraction of many of the youth, on whatever continent they are living today for what appears to be complete individualistic freedom from traditional and principles which have been handed down from generations’. The modern lifestyle is all consuming and evades all areas of life facilitated by mass media such as fashion, art, manner of living, new philosophies of thought and behaviour.   
 

Without going too much into a sociological debate, as that is beyond the scope of this study, it is important to provide a brief background as to the underlying causes of this phenomenon in today’s society. Significantly it has to be noted that the modern lifestyle and new norms of behaviour in Britain and the ‘West’ are relatively recent and accelerated after the second-world war. It stems from various interrelated causes, these being 1) the development of a generation gap after the second-world war 2) the breakdown of the traditional family structure 3) the decline of religion and rise of secularism in society and 4) the emergence of new social behaviours. 
 

One of the main reasons for the modern lifestyle is the rebellion from the young against parents, the so-called ‘generation gap’. This generation gap has resulted because the young are turning away from the cultural norms of their parents and ancestors. This rebellion of the youth against parents emanates from a seeming distrust of the older generation and opposition to the hypocrisies inherent in the generation of their parents. For example although parents are seen to behave in accordance to an ethical and moral value system the youth continue to view many injustices prevalent in society and rebel against the existing value system. Some of these injustices include the presence of racism and destruction of the natural environment and the young feel sympathetic to the need for racial harmony in a multi-cultural society and balance with the natural world. Thus this generation gap manifests itself by the young having different ideas, habits, technology, language, dress and behaviour from their parents.  
 

The breakdown of the family and the traditional role of men and women have further widened this ‘generation gap’. The breakup of the family is a significant reason for this generation gap. There was a time when the foundation of society was the institution of marriage. Family was regarded as sacred in Christianity and included husband wife, children and the extended family, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Since the mass changes that the industrial revolution brought about family became more nuclear and became more to include the husband wife and children. However in the last two generations, even the nuclear family structure has been crumbling. Moreover the traditional meaning of marriage is being questioned and challenged. Marriage used to mean the union of two opposite sexes but now is being adapted to include same-sex marriages. The high rates of divorce now also mean that couples are increasingly trying cohabitation as an alternative to marriage to avoid divorce by having a ‘trial’ marriage or by avoiding legal ties altogether.  
 

In addition the traditional role of women in society changed significantly especially after the second-world war. During the war women played a vital role in helping the war effort in working the lands and the munitions factories. After the war the British Government expected women to return back to the traditional role of the ‘homemaker’ however the war was a catalyst for freedom for women who wanted other experiences such as work. Thus the role of women in the family structure forever changed in British society. 
 

Divorce rates in Britain are very high, up to 40% and many children are being brought up in single parent families. Many youth in single parent families are not attaining the authority and parenting that both parents instill in traditional families in passing on ethical and moral values, economic security and generally providing a stable structure for life. Thus the youth are left more often than not, to make rules up for themselves. It has long been recognised that children growing up in single parent families are more likely to have emotional, academic, and financial problems. They are more likely to engage in behaviour associated with social exclusion, such as crime, teenage pregnancy, alcohol, drug abuse or unemployment. 
 

The generation gap often manifests itself in aggressive and anti-social behaviour from the youth and is a source of tension within communities. Anti-social behaviour can be defined as an anti-social manner that causes harassment, alarm or distress to one or more persons. Crime, violence, unrest is now the norm in most communities in the UK. Sometimes youths engaging in violence are applying technology like the Internet and mobile phones to popularise and disseminate these trends in violence such as happy slapping. The Government introduced the ASBO (Anti-Social Behaviour Order) as a solution to curb this violence, it supposedly prevents youths from wreaking violence and continuing in anti-social behaviours. If the ASBO terms are broken, the penalty can be up to 5 years in prison or a major fine. There is clearly concern in the UK over this widening gulf between the young and the old. In the Queen’s speech in 2006 she called for the bridging of this generation gap, ‘As children grow up and develop their own sense of confidence and independence in the ever-changing technological environment, there is always the danger of a real divide opening up between young and old’.  
 

The emergence of the modern lifestyle has also led to loss of religion and the increased secularisation of society in Britain and the West. Secularism has been of course going on since the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries with major advances in science. Religion is in major decline, in a research poll conducted by YouGov in 2004, only 44% of people interviewed said they believed in God. Nasr states, ‘it is the loss of meaning of life for many of the young that leads them down the road of immediate sensual gratification through sexuality or drugs and in some cases to violence and crime or to the quest for new philosophies, cultures and religions’. Nasr argues that this quest for a meaning of life is of course a positive phenomenon but also too often it can lead to shallow uptake on eastern religions like Buddhism and Hinduism or sudden takes on new philosophies and cults. There is of course great interest in Islam and Islam remains today the fastest growing religion in the West. Islam continues its battle against secularism and such ideologies and presents a welcoming alternative for many people in Britain and the West. 
 

In addition the loss of religion has led to the growth of other ‘religions’ such as sport. Sports have always existed in all cultures but in the West the over commercialisation and emphasis has almost made it a substitution for religion. Sporting heroes are almost worshipped and their demand is such that they are paid huge salaries more than leaders, scientists and scholars of the day. As Nasr states ‘the sports champion along with heroes of pop art and especially pop music constitute the new cultural hero in a society given to the worship of the body and the senses’. In today’s media saturated world, the cultural hero or the ‘celebrity’ has become the new power and they influence their followers in terms of fashion and tastes. This emerging trend has been coined as the Celebrity Worship Syndrome (CWS) and its sufferers dedicate and devote their lives and affection to their chosen celebrity. Often these celebrities are devoid of any talent as Houran states, ‘celebrities are no longer people who have special talents and attributes. Many celebrities are simply marketing products’. 
 

The loss of religion has led to a new-found sexual freedom that originated from the 1960’s and the emergence of new social behaviours departing from the traditional social and moral value system. In a study of teenagers in Britain by Hamblett & Deverson (1964), they discovered that teenagers ‘sleep together before they are married, don't believe in God, dislike the Queen and don't respect parents’. Over the decades these social behaviours have become embedded in British society and culture. Fornication, promiscuity, adultery and homosexuality are now very common in today’s society of instant gratification. Traditional sexual ethics are being regularly questioned to the point whereby branches of the Church such as Catholic and Protestants are being pressured to modernise and to accept homosexuality as part of the religion. Even AIDS has not limited this sexual revolution and there is an ever-increasing rate of teenage pregnancy. However it must be stressed there are still many institutions and social organisations in Britain today that although have a secular outlook have retained certain Christian ethical and traditional values such as charity. This can be widely seen when there are natural disasters and other catastrophes in the world and the enormous amount of charity that is donated from the British people. 

Further the power of mass media in Britain and the West has to be emphasised in facilitating the modern lifestyle to its audience. The media is very influential, in presenting and accelerating social change via mediums such as newspapers, television and the Internet.  Such is the rapidity of the change process that decades are classed in terms of the fashions and musical styles such as the 60’s 70’s, 80’s etc. The media are such a powerful influence in the dissemination of styles, manner of living, philosophies and communicate every aspect of life in the illusory and glamorous manner to a wide and captive audience.